Chandni Garam mp4

Maybethey'd whammied my mind or something. Not in my wildest dreams did Ithink they were pulling me somewhere for a threesome. If anything they'dbe trying to get me arrested, but it wasn't that.Two of them holds my hands and I walk forward, dazed, them in them rippedskinny jeans and tank tops, one of them fiddling with the speakers, andme with my beard and fat ass and stupid security uniform, and they'resmiling and giggling and I'm full of shame and heartbreak and the musicstarts.They dance, and I'm dancing along too. I'm dancing and I'm sweating and Irealise I've seen their dance a hundred times, maybe, it's this Koreansong about a girl's heart and making it go aflutter, that kind of crap. Ilooked it up and watched the original group do their dance, and I preferour mall-wall dancers.Oh, right. Sorry. They start the music and I start sweating, because thisbody doesn't do physical activity very well, but I'm in perfect timing.Hand here, arms there, wiggle wiggle kick. I'm sweating and. All ofmy frustrations, loses, failures and fears came to a head at thatmoment. I lost my family, after a frustrating life of tormented denialabout how I felt, I failed to make my parents understand why I neededto be myself, I lost friends, and my ongoing fear of another attackstill lived. Vivid dreams of that night had followed me relentlessly,and that colored my view of the world in a whole new way. Everythingthat I was, everything that I thought was right had changed, especiallymy ability to trust someone, anyone. I didn't even confide in Mary verymuch. Only my doctor knew the depths of my feelings. As I sat thereweeping, knowing that my entire life was worthless, I tried to look up,but could not bring myself to do it. The stark reminder of how far Iwas willing to go to recapture my self esteem lay on the table, uglyand gray, a killing machine that I had actually considered using. I wasnothing, and worse, I knew it."Maybe" Dan said softly, "it's time that you found someone to love.
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